Fear

One night at the orphanage in Kyrgyzstan I laughed aloud as I washed my blue jeans in the girls’ bathroom sink. Eight years ago when God called me to come to Russia, my #1 concern was that I might have to learn to wash them by hand. I saw myself in a bathtub full of sudsy water jumping up and down on my jeans to get them clean ... and here I was with my only pair, needing them tomorrow, calmly washing and wringing them out in the bathroom sink. No big deal.

Eight years ago the simple act of washing an article of clothing was almost the "straw that broke the camel’s back" for me. Making Mt. Everest out of a crumb, I could have missed seven years of God’s blessing in my life ... touching the lives of the wonderful people I am privileged to call my friends simply due to a silly fear because I had never handwashed anything larger than a shirt.

Standing at the sink, I thought about coming to Kyrgyzstan with the Bible school in 2005. Just days before we arrived they had a citizen uprising, deposed the president, and looted and burned the capital city. To be honest, it was the first potentially dangerous situation I’d ever walked into. Our director and her assistant were much more gung-ho than I, but after lots of prayer I finally had a quasi-peace. Despite my trepidation, it was a wonderful trip, and a step in learning to trust God through His peace.

This year, two weeks before I left for Krygyzstan, the citizens again rebelled, unseated the president, and looted and burned the capital city (do you see a pattern here?). They raided neighbourhoods of non-Kyrgyz people, killing them and looting their homes. Then the Mafia started its own war, shooting and killing people in the market all night.

My Russian friends called, emailed, and texted me saying, "Don’t go! It’s war there." They drug me to the TV to watch people being shot, trampled, and dying. The decision was more serious than washing a pair of jeans by hand - but meantime I had learned to let the peace of God rule in my heart (Colossians 3:15). If there is something I believe God wants me to do and others disagree, I listen to them because they love me and want the best for me. Then I go to God and if He gives me peace about it, I do it.

However, if I plan to do something and suddenly lose my peace, even with no good explanation I don't do it. That happened when I was planning to go with students on a trip to Africa. I lost my peace and canceled with no reason other than that (which sounds pretty feeble if people are depending on you). The day after I was to buy my ticket, my Mum fell ill and needed me.

After watching the news clips my friends showed me, I must say I was concerned, but when I went home to spend time with God, a peace that I couldn’t understand came over me and I knew I should go. It was a wonderful trip. Since my Russian is better, my relationship with the children grew immensely. Before going to the orphanage, I always stay a few days in Bishkek to prepare and buy things for them. I stayed with a friend whose brother-in-law was shot in the hip by a sniper on the first day of the uprising in Kyrgyzstan. This type of bullet apparently spirals in order to do the most damage. He had six operations, almost died, and now one month later is home and walking. By not giving in to fear I was able to be there as a part of the rejoicing at his recovery. When I left, my friends said, "Nicola, come and stay with us any time you want. You brought peace into our home and family."

My prayer for you and myself is that we not to be enslaved by fear for one moment, but be led by the peace of God, sensitive to His voice, and enjoy the journey!

Plays

Some of the girls from the family home were recently in two plays put on by the orphanage drama department.  The first was  “Snyegurichka”.  Since I know several versions of the story and my conversational Russian is pretty good I thought it would be simple to understand.   Here’s the gist:  a grandma and grandpa lived in the woods and didn’t have any children.  They were lonely and made a beautiful snow maiden who came to life.  They called her “Snyegurichka”.  She didn’t know what love was, then one day she fell in love.  The warmth of the love caused her to melt.  My Russian and Snegurichka knowledge didn’t help at all.  I was totally clueless almost the whole play.  Our girls were good, though!

Afterwards I asked the actors what it was about and they consoled me,  “Don’t worry Nicola, we didn’t understand it either.”

The second play was “The Little Prince”.  Zina and Luda were in it.  Zina was the Prince.  It was fantastic – much better than I dreamed it would be.  (I understood it too!)  Zina is quite the actress, and the props, although simple, were amazingly effective.  For example, each child wearing a glove on one hand became a very convincing snake, and small fabric bracelets added to their base costume made a believable tree and row of rosebushes.  Here is a photo.

 Zina (front) as the Little Prince